• Doctor A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

• Love affairs Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

• Marriage It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.

• Divorce Future tense of marriage.

• Lecture An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

• Conference The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

• Compromise The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

• Tears The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.

• Dictionary A place where divorce comes before marriage.

• Conference Room A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

• Ecstasy A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

• Classic A book which people praise, but do not read.

• Smile A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

• Office A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

• Yawn The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

• Etc. A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

• Committee Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

• Experience The name men give to their mistakes.

• Atom Bomb An invention to end all inventions.

• Philosopher A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

• Diplomat A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

• Opportunist A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

• Optimist A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway 'See I am not injured yet.'

• Pessimist A person who says that '0' is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

• Miser A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

• Father A banker provided by nature.

• Criminal A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

• Boss Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

• Politician One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

• Computer Engineer One who gets paid for reading such mails.